REAL SIGNS - REAL MEANING

 The following are real signs found in the world:
 On a Plumbers truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
 Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
 At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
 In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire
and take appropriate action."
 At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."
 In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
 On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
 At the electric company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill.
 However, if you don't, you will be."
 In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"